Strip board games and an ingenious plan for an icecream van were among gags at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival opening night.
An audience member was also plucked from the audience, dressed in a pigeon’s head costume and ordered to fly.
Local funnyman Wil Anderson got the show off to a cracking start with jokes about some Australians’ illogical fear that asylum seekers will steal their jobs.
“If you are so bad at your job that it can be taken from you by someone who has taken a risky journey on a dodgy boat fleeing persecution, been locked in a detention centre for years and then tracked you down, then perhaps you deserve to be unemployed,” he said.
“Guess what tiger, you are f***ing s*** at your job,” Anderson said, adding those people should be shipped out of Australia.
“That’s the new policy – one in one out.”
British comedian Sara Pascoe reflected on the unfortunate mismatch of the age at which men and women reach their sexual peak.
She and her boyfriend are both aged 32 and while she is in her sexual prime, men reach their sexual peak at 18.
Pascoe recounted her boyfriend’s bright idea to play a strip version of Trivial Pursuit but it didn’t have the desired effect.
“You’re just naked, feeling fat and being beaten at Trivial Pursuit,” she said.
James Acaster (UK) reflected on possible business ventures like an icecream van that sells refillable icecream cones and then speeds away from customers before they have a chance to claim their next serve.
Being a skywriter who flies in a straight line to cross out statements with which Acaster disagrees was another possible plan.
Nish Kumar (UK), whose parents are Indian, got lots of giggles for his musings on race and joked his face changes ethnicity depending on the angle from which it is viewed.
Some of the loudest laughs went to local comic Sam Simmons, who jumped into the audience onto a man named Kevin’s lap and then dragged him on stage and dressed him as a pigeon.
* The Melbourne International Comedy Festival runs until April 20.